Get Adobe Flash player
Connections

       

Galleries

    

#marymartin

How a Play I Saw at 10 years Old Saved My Marriage

I had coffee with some producer friends of mine last week and we were discussing content and what we most wanted to do with our storytelling opportunities. I shared the story of how a play I saw as a child has kept me married for 31 years, to date. They said they found it very inspiring and wanted me to share it with you.

When I was about 10 years of age my mother had season tickets to the local music theater group and took me as her +1 to see I DO! I DO!, a musical about marriage.

It’s a one set musical, the master bedroom, of what we are told to believe is an enormous house. I recognized the first night shyness, the blush of young love, I had older sisters who regularly went through the “pink balloon, butterflies, chocolate candy , Oooh, I’m so happy ” routine. Quotes are mine.

In the play, though, life continued. A blue blanket, then a pink blanket were brought on stage to signify the two children they had. They were still in love, but it was harder, as you’d expect. But still good. They rock along through the years, as he pursues his work, finally that becomes of utmost importance and he divorces himself from the marriage. She is so hurt and disillusioned she also divorces herself from their vows. I recognized these years as well. My parents were going through them. I dubbed them “the mean years” and refer to that difficult period in my marriage the same way.

We went into intermission knowing there was no way to save their relationship which was really sad since they’d been so happy only one hour before. During intermission, my mom walked outside with the crowds and I stayed glued to my seat watching the actors return to the stage under work lights to apply wigs and makeup aging them about 15 years. (Fascinating!)

When the curtain came up he had his packed suitcase, in hand, resting on the bed, berating her again while she sat and watched him from across the bed sitting by the window. After she had returned the insults, they both mourn the death of the early dreams and hopes they’d shared. They decide, without forgetting anything that has gone before, and ONLY for the preciousness of the early dream they shared of a missed future, to try again, starting “today”. They will make different choices, they will remember kindness, and they will see if they can do better a second time.

The play ends happily and I found myself thinking two things; that everyone who isn’t married yet should see this play and they’d have a better shot at staying married, and also, that it’s worth putting up with a whole lot of crap, to end up with someone who shares your memories of the last many years of your life.

This remembrance has stood me in good stead and now my husband and I are on the other side of the mean years ourselves and growing and learning together. I’m happy for that. I’m glad I saw the play. I look forward to directing it or singing the role myself one day.

I Do! I DO!-youtube.com Continue reading